From Frustration to Compassion

Barbara

I was new to Language of Compassion and in the midst of reading Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication while my husband and I were traveling internationally. As he is older, we had had a series of difficulties with trains, moving our suitcases and the like. At one point, I had asked him to accompany me to a tourist attraction and he had refused, saying he wanted to sit and smoke a cigar. My insides said “Yuck” and I’m sure I expressed some frustration. But I remembered the book and looked at the list of needs. I recognized that I had a need for play and joy. As I got curious about my husband’s need, my eyes came to “autonomy”. My whole body felt the truth of that and I suddenly had enormous compassion for his struggles with a body that didn’t work the way it used to, the difficulties of travel and his likely need for rest as well. I told him I would go to the place I wanted to visit on my own and sincerely and affectionately wished him a lovely afternoon.

Celebrations: