Hungry Herbie Hippo
Bonnie

As a piano teacher, I have many opportunities to use the Language of Compassion to connect with my students. For example, in a recent lesson with a five-year-old student I’ll call Charlie, I asked Charlie to play the piece Hungry Herbie Hippo that he had practiced at home that week.

As I typically do when students play a piece during a lesson, I prepared to play an accompaniment along with him on the same piano. But when I noticed that Charlie was frowning and had tears coming from his eyes, I decided to try using the Language of Compassion to help him connect with his feelings and needs.

“Are you feeling sad?” I asked Charlie.

“No, I’m feeling mad,” he replied.

When I asked Charlie if he would be willing to tell me what he was feeling mad about, he told me that he wanted to play Hungry Herbie Hippo by himself, without my accompaniment.

“Oh, so you have a need for autonomy, or independence. Is that right?” I asked.

“Yes,” Charlie responded.

Now it was time for me to connect with and share my own feelings and needs.

“Well, I feel sad to hear that, because I would really like to play Hungry Herbie Hippo along with you. I have a need for joy, and it’s fun for me to play the piano together with you.” (I chose not to share with Charlie that I also like to accompany students as a natural way to model proper technique and evaluate their sense of rhythm.)

Because I sometimes teach group lessons, I have several pianos in my studio, so I made a request.

“Charlie, would you be willing to play Hungry Herbie Hippo together if I played my part on the piano beside yours instead of on the same one?”

“Yes!” Charlie agreed. And so, that is what we did.

I felt grateful and proud that Charlie and I had both connected with our feelings and needs and agreed on a strategy for playing Hungry Herbie Hippo that met both our needs.

Celebrations: