Creating a Beautiful Day

Clarice

On the way to Cartersville, Mason and I began a discussion on a subject that resulted in my feeling enormous anger, irritability, tension, anxiety, and frustration. Although it took me a while to acknowledge my feelings and to connect with them, I became aware that an hour earlier, I had felt happy and excited and eager with the day. Now, I felt anything but that.

Once I connected with my feelings, I became curious and wondered, “What is going on here? Why am I feeling these feelings of anger, tension, irritability, and frustration? What is my need?” I soon realized I had a need for Mason’s presence, that Mason had seemed far away and disconnected from our conversation.

I then turned to him and said, “As I consider how quiet you have been for the past 10 minutes, I am curious to know if you are present to what we are discussing. Would you be willing to let me know if you are here?”

Suddenly, Mason became visibly sad and shared that he was experiencing an unexpressed grief that he had not seen until then. In an instant, I felt my anger, tension, anxiety, and frustration melt away as it was replaced with compassion. I was, from that point on, able to hear Mason with with empathy, holding a safe presence for him as he explored his sadness. At the end of our empathy together, I felt that happiness and excitement and eagerness I had felt earlier in the day. I also felt peaceful.

By the time we arrived in Cartersville, both of us were in a happy, peaceful place, and the rest of our day was wonderful.