Growth
Lynne

My friend and I were working in our garden, and I found myself becoming frustrated and a bit angry. I took the time to get specific about why I felt that way and discovered that our approach to the work was very different. My friend likes to accomplish great amounts of work through broad stroke efforts, while I am detail oriented and like to accomplish a small task in a thorough fashion. My needs for self-expression and contribution were not being met by trying to work in his style.

We talked for a while, using Language of Compassion, and strategized a division of labor in the garden that would meet both of our needs. Now when we work together, I pick out tasks that let me be meticulous (and which my friend may find tedious), while he handles the sweeping overhauls. No arguments or hurt feelings on either side!

Language of Compassion shows me a way to communicate without evoking defensive responses by respecting both my feelings and needs and those of others. It has taught me what it means to truly listen to others with empathy instead of trying to fix them or take over the conversation with my own concerns.

Celebrations: